im still tired
and bewildered
and dehydrated
and sad.

my phone may be dead. it got water in it last night and shut off. when i try to charge it, it says 'charging' but then i try to turn it on- while plugged in- and it starts, then turns off. If its not plugged in, it doesn't do shit.
So i am using my old phone at the moment.. i'll use it today and leave the other one to dry and HOPEFULLY it will work tonight or tomorrow or whatever. wah

oh great now my brain is all messed up and argumentative.

MEH

it's still raining
this is giving me no motivation whatsoever.
i work at 2, it's now 9:22am.
sigh.
today should go fast though, i'm sure i have a billion cheeses to put away.. since orders come in today.
i cleaned my room yesterday and right now the only thing on my floor is stuff for a painting i started.
i'm off again tomorrow which is awesome but also, not awesome.. having my days off so close together means a bunch of days working in a row. If i dont have a day off until NEXT wednesday after this one, that's 6 days straight work. bleh.
This week is going to be pretty busy, though it doesn't seem like it now. The 3rd should be hoppin with customers, the 4th better be busy, but if not, ill go home early and then fireworks at the beach should be awesome. sunday is inventory but not till night... as in 6pm.... so we are going to count stuff while the store is open? Weird. so i'm scheduled 3:30-11:45. oi!
Better than 5am, i say.

had a weird dream about my mom and brother, and in it was one of my normal 'i cant use the bathroom' blunders. Now i realize this is a good thing in reality, but in my dream it frustrates me to no end! Also in this dream i remember thinking 'god i thought this only happened in my dreams!' =P
David was also in my dream, but i really think that's because of Adam. They have the same smile... I used to adore David's smile. So that's a plus? =P
Today I think im going to make a trip to sawgrass. It will be a nice drive, and then it will be a nice walk around the mall. I haven't gone in a long time.. not since Dana and I went, and it's been even longer since i've gone alone.
oh well, distracted now. toodles. Or as Evan said to me the other day, tootles. =P

wow
im really tired
i don't know if it's just cause i haven't opened in basically a long time, or what
but i think i may have asked myself that the last few times i opened
wtf body, why are you tired?

saw transformers in IMAX yesterday, it was GOOD!
it was long, but it was good.
and IMAX is amazing.

Today i am alone at work till Eric comes in at 3, which is when i leave.
Tomorrow is Blues and Brews and I close. Those things are fun but i have a feeling i'll be doing it alone.
::shrugs:: we'll see!

hm things to write about maybe when it's not 630 in the am..
ta for now

blah, working at 1
i feel like i should go back to bed
but eh
i can't.

last night was fun
SO many pictures, i don't even want to think about it
haha

ok dunno why i started to write, nothing really interesting goin' on.

hm
it seems every time i wake up early, i'm feeling like i haven't done it in a while. This time, i suppose that's true, what with closing both thursday and friday and then being off yesterday.
Yesterday was nice. it was lazy. Melissa, Daniel and I had lunch and then we sat down and watched 6 episodes of True Blood, to catch up. I was relaxed, but didn't feel like a waste of a person for sitting infront of my computer alone all day.
I didn't, however, go food shopping... So if i remember, i should do that today after work.
I thought i worked till 3 but it's really FOUR. =((( What a long shift for no damn reason lol
If i remember, i also should request the use of some of my pto to make me to 40 hours. I need all the munnah i can get.
I have to find the balance of taking out money for my car payment. This check i just took out the whole amount from. I might be able to get away with doing half and half.. but no this month, since its due on the 25th and we get paid again on the 26th! oi
Ok, i am a bit tired. I think im becoming addicted to coffee which i do not like. Last night though i had an iced tea, so thats good. I'd really like a nice macchiato though. That's a teeny tiny drink so at least there's that haha
I saw a cruiser yesterday, a limited, that i felt was smaller than my car. Is my car bigger than older models or am i just seeing things?
ok i think that's it for the questions and recollections this morning.
ta

i dont like lying to people.
what i mean to say is, i dont like relying on what people say as truth, and then when its not, I look like the liar.
why do people say things they have no intention of meaning at all?
can i just live in my head the rest of my life so i dont have to deal with other peoples' bullshit?

lemme know.

had a weird dream about barbara and alyx. they lived in this low house (not new york) and i came to visit. i remember i couldn't open my eyes, like i was sleeping. and there were little specific details that always make me wonder where the hell my brain gets these things like, barbara pulled down three beaded strings to tell her roommate that the door was unlocked cause we were just running down the street.
weird.
miss you guys!

wow
talk about stress
yesterday sucked
and i slept like shit
and now i open.
i get out at 3
then i might drive up to west palm
i shouldn't chicken out (:

hopefully today will be good
cause i still have 'hives' on my arms from yesterday (could be something else, rash, whatever...but it was induced by stress)
and i don't think i can take any more shit being shoveled into my mouth.


not even orbits could save me from this one.

so, the beach was pretty rad
i only got red where i couldnt reach to put lotion
then we went to chillis and that even, was alright
i had a pretty good saturday.
i need to stop it with the spending money though
we bought our excursions for mexico..
this is our rent check though and not bills, so that's good i guess.. meaning there IS a bills check and when it comes ive got to put aside what i normally would pay for my car. If i can do that, then ill be ok.
here's to hoping!


weird night sleeping. i tried to go to bed early..but the neighbors were loud. eventually i fell asleep, though. Then i got a text at 4am (thanks, dana) but i fell back to sleep. Then my alarm went off but i still thought it was 4am. Realized it was 6 and hit snooze. Then when it went off again, it looked like no time passed. I hate confusing mornings like that. At least tomorrow i don't work till 9am!

made my lunch last night
had breakfast this morning
im on the right track to NOT spending a bunch of money at work today.

today should go pretty fast- i'm only on the floor till 1, then im doing fast track stuff with Sumedha. That will be cool until the computer classes come because i don't think we will be able to do them at the same time.
blah blah blah blah
i'm tired. i had a stupid dream. maybe i need my head cleared out or something. or maybe i need to just shout "HEY GET OUT OF MY FUCKING HEAD"
ahem.
anyway.

hmmm
went to target with mel for food shopping
bought a huge loaf of honey wheat bread, a lb of turkey breast, and some cheese slices, a thing of bagels and some cream cheese all for less than 11 dollars.
could never do that at whole foods.
Now now, i'm still shopping at wf.. but we dont have good bagels (only teeny ones) and our cream cheese is expensive (and target brand is all natural- i checked) and our bread goes bad in four seconds.
Everything else, i'll get at wf probably, but it was interesting to not spend a lot haha.
er, no excuse for the cheese except that it was already sliced, again, all natural, and not 9 dollars!

john mackey forgive me lololol

i was really worried about this newfound expense i've bestowed upon myself, so i added everything up. I rounded up the bills, so i don't cheat my numbers in a bad way..
I can totally do this! It's totally manageable!
This makes me really pround of myself.
....as stupid as that sounds.

wow so...

last night at work, for dinner, i had a little bit of tuna, some hummus, cucumbers, and tomato. I wasn't really hungry and am really trying to eat well! I stayed full till i got home, where i had a poptart for dessert. Not the healthiest but not the most horrible thing i could have done.
I think im gonna eat an avacado before work today.
I had wheatgrass yesterday and damn, that stuff gives me way too much energy.
Tonight is the LOST season finale.
good thing i only work till  7!

so im making a conscious effort to eat a somewhat pescatarian diet. The thing is, i feel like i will eat a lot of starches (rice, potatoes) instead of veggies and beans. So anyone that has any meal plans or pointers that they'd like to share, please feel free.
and of course, i will be eating fish (pescatarian..)
so yeah suggest away!

i was just re reading my 'don't hold your breath' entry and it made me chuckle. How ironic life is, when i 'know' not to 'hold my breath' what i would be anticipating happens.
sigh.
Maybe I should just go around 'knowing' nothing good can come of anything, just to be proven wrong.
reverse psychology for the win!
=P

Going to Ruby's with Mel and then star trek later in boca. yay plans

cursive. two nights. im excited.
i'm even shutting down my computer (:

AND we might even go see the Bayhill store (which is also "Phillips Crossing"?)
I hope Alex is there! =D
distraction, here i come!